The Time I Saw Chaos Getting Hammered Into Grace

"He who has eyes let him see"

Two weeks ago now I was getting geared up for my winter camping trip to the boundary waters with a group of some of my closest friends. My prayers for this trip were that God would reveal himself in some awesome ways through my time spent out in His creation. I have to admit I was rather anxious about this trip. In the past I was in decent shape but sitting at a desk for a couple years had made me kind of squishy in terms of fitness. Despite my training for the month before I still did not feel prepared. It wasn't just that though there was just a general anxiousness in my heart. I had to drag myself out the door pretty much. I think it had a lot to do with the enemy trying to drag me down.

By God's grace I did not give in, I pushed and shoved my way to Duluth to meet the rest of the crew. After arriving, there still was no reprieve from the tension in my heart. That night we did not get to bed til about midnight and we had to be up at 3 to get ready to hit the road to make it up there at a decent time. Sleep did not come easily as my anxiety got the best of me. Before I knew it I was up and running to get my gear strapped into my pulk (sled). On a side note I was pretty excited to try my new pole design for my pulk and to get out and start taking pictures. In what seemed like a flash we were turning on the gunflint trail, then the lake access, then I was clipped in and marching toward our campsite, all of the sudden we were there, then the work began, then it was night, then I was in the tent talking about life with with my buddy Joe and that was it. The entire day was gone, all 17 hours of it was just a wash of movement and survival (goes to show you that despite having more time in your day doesn't mean it would give more time to relax). It wasn't until the next day when I took off on my snowshoes to find a quiet corner of the lake that God finally revealed all that was going on to me.

After finding said quiet corner of the lake I set up my camera for a time lapse found a decent rock for a seat and sat down. I opened my bible and started reading some of Luke. I got to chapter 14 and started reading Jesus' parables about people who missed out on an amazing opportunity. In some cases they had to simply let go of their pride, other cases they had to give up their own desires (which I suppose is kind of pride as well), and yet others should have sat down and considered the worth of it. Finally, after the length Jesus went to illustrate his points he succinctly concludes with 3 rather intense sentences. “Salt is good; but if the salt has lost its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is neither fit for the land nor for the dunghill, but men throw it out. He who has ears to hear, let him hear!”

...

O porcupine, caught high in a tree, if only your little eyes could see, you would know the grace that surroundeth thee!

It was as if the aperture of my eyes were wrenched open letting the light of revelation pour into my mind. The last couple days made so much more sense then they had mere minutes ago. As the lens of my mind's eye focused in on the words God had written out for me, it clicked. All that was lost in the movement and survival came back and it was shown to be oh so good.

Sometimes life gets crazy, a lot of the times actually. When we were driving in to our access point we came up off the lake and up the hill where the moisture from Lake Superior had turned into a freezing mist. It caked all the trees in a heavy white frost. This persisted through the entire hike into our camp

site. It was incredibly beautiful. Especially as the mist turned to light snowflakes that fluttered down around us. Yet, I never really took the time to really take it in. I was so very focused on getting to the camp site and taking pictures that I totally missed out on the beauty of the frost. It seems sad I suppose but it all had to happen. I had to push. That's the thing about these excursions, they have a way of pushing you. It's out there in the constant cold silence that everything is moved around and stretched which then exposes all of those hidden nooks and crannies in the heart. I mean what better metaphor for life. You have to pull all the things you find necessary through the wilderness over hills and through deep, powdery snow. The more you hang on to the harder the trip becomes. Sometimes we become so occupied with the "trip" and making it happen that we totally miss the point of it all. It was ironic because even as I sat there writing down some of these
thoughts the snowflakes began their dance down from the sky once more.I was captivated (as I always am) by the beautiful intricate designs of the tiny flakes that found rest on my sleeves. Despite the peacefulness by which they came they were creating such a racket in my head. Each one was screaming, "you are cared for!" It hit me that I am loved despite all my foolishness. I mean I was out of shape because of laziness and complacency, I had my burden to pull on my pulk, and I had gotten caught up in "getting there." I had really screwed this opportunity up for myself. Yet, the trip wasn't over just like God's grace... it doesn't end when we mess it all up and let loose chaos. He just keeps taking that chaos we make and hammers it into something beautiful... a highlander style claymore... ahem... grace. Whether or not we are looking for it, it is there. Whether it's a bed of freshly fallen snow or colorful, unique lichen or the frozen lines of an icicle. His grace completely surrounds us constantly we just have accept it. All these beautiful things are not just merely signs of God's glory, creativity, and love but also, and I think most importantly, His grace.

In his fore knowing of our sin He has still chosen to bless us with it all. Even when we are weighed down by our faults and sin God is always surrounding us with such things to remind us His grace is always available. We just have accept it. No pride, no excuses, it's worth it. If we miss that we aren't fit for a pile of crap, so we better open up our eyes. So clip in and pull away remember it's not about getting there, it's about experiencing and knowing God's grace on the way and bringing others in on that experience. Because there is nothing like the light and warmth of the big bonfire at the end.

As always, take er easy.


For more photos from the trip click here

O, Porcupine

As of late, I have been on the hunt for owls. If you have tried to spot an owl on purpose before you might know how daunting of a task this can be. Just think of how many times in your life you have seen an owl in the wild. To find an owl in the wild means a lot of time wondering aimlessly through the woods looking for trees that would make good owl roosts and then exploring the base of said trees for pellets(pellets are the left overs from owl picnics). 

Yesterday after work I set off into the woods for another hour of searching high and low for these illusive creatures. It was nice to be outside in the cool, invigorating air. As my feet crunched through the snow, I was taken by the beauty of the tiny snow flakes that blew in the icy wind. The sun was already crouching down to find its bed behind the horizon which turned the flying frost into a golden glow around the trees by which it fell. I wondered a good while spotting many tracks from deer and what I assume were coyotes but no owls, nor any of their leftovers. I had been out there for almost an hour and there wasn't a whole ton of light left and I decided to break off the trail I had been blazing and head back for the main track. As I was gaining my bearing as to which way I would need to head to get back to the trail my eyes caught view of a dark mass sitting high, on the chalky, grey, limb of a poplar tree.

 For a half second I thought I had accidentally caught sight of my elusive prey but alas it was not but a porcupine. I stood there a good while watching it... not that there was much to watch it hardly moved a muscle. I was taken back yet still, as I watched the wind blow it's bushy fur, it sat there huddled half way out on this branch, as the whole tree swung back and forth in the breeze. It definitely wasn't warm out either I am guessing the wind chills had to be getting close to -10 by this point. Yet, it just sat there... Eventually a stiff gust hit my face and snapped me back to reality. So I set up my camera and snapped a couple pictures of it (I wish I would have taken video). Then I packed my camera back up and watched it a few moments more and headed off to find the main trail. 

As I hiked out though I couldn't shake the image of that porcupine from my head. Why was I so fascinated by it? I have seen them before in the wild and gotten much closer to them. I think it was just thought of it being out on that limb in the cold breeze. I kept thinking why did it just sit out there like that? I mean it could have sat against the trunk of the tree or could have climbed one of the many pine trees nearby. Surely, the dense pine boughs would have provided a some what better shelter from the wind. But it just sat there! Stupid animal! I caught myself in that thought though, as I remembered all the times I avoided things in the interest of self preservation. Things that would have made life more fulfilling and amazing and realized I am not much different. I can't count the number of times I have been out a limb, spiritually and mentally, rocking precariously back and forth in the stinging, cold gusts. Each time I was surrounded by opportunities for warmth and comfort and yet I sat there a huddled mass out on that branch trying to hold on to the little warmth my body could produce. 

The thing is though for the porcupine the winds will eventually calm and the air will warm and it can go about its busyness. In my experience, those winds never went away and the air definitely didn't get any warmer. The longer I sat there the colder and more windy it became. Often, it got to be that I was left with a choice either break out and deal with it or check out and pretend it's not happening. I seemed to favor the later of the two. It seemed easier... I could pretend it was alright and distract myself with a whole arsenal of busyness that kept me from remembering the reality of that branch. But even still, every now and then a gust of that icy cold wind would blast me and snap me back to reality. Back just in time to that branch snapping and me crashing through a few more branches til I hit the ground. Scratched and battered I would finally climb the pine tree that was always nearby and find solace it in the shelter of its branches. 

All this being said I hope you get the point of it all. God always has something better for us. No matter how cold the wind is, it will always be worth letting go of your own warmth to get closer to His warmth. Even if the wind is too cold and you die on the way rest easy for in a blink of an eye you will find yourself in the very presence of Him never again having to be out on that branch. 

Take 'er easy. 



Click here to see more of my photos.